I was reading the material to be covered tomorrow in my special Calc 3 class, and came across the title word. It was a discussion about a circle drawn on the inside of a curve, called an osculating circle. (Math types, my apologies, but since that's really all that's relevant to the discussion, you'll have to ask or look it up for a more precise definition.) A circle that "touches the curve so closely" at the point of interest. They then gave a short note on the source of the term. Osculum. Latin. (n.) Kiss.
For some reason, this was a trigger for me to write on. (After all, I did promise Latin and French, didn't I?) Maybe people aren't aware of this, as I assume. Maybe they don't even think of it. (Come to think of it, unless it's explicitly mentioned to me about someone else, I don't give it much thought either.) As a friend of mine might put it, I've never kissed a girl. I don't know how that works. (If anyone recognizes who this is, you'll notice a certain irony inherent in my swiping her phrase. Not intentional, she just uses this phrasing and I found it appropriate. Clearly, I noticed the irony though.)
Mechanics is not an issue. (After all, I pulled off the A in that physics class.) I mean, I suppose [CLICHE] practice makes perfect. But I surely understand the theory. (You know what I mean; I've never launched any rockets either, but I can calculate their orbits. Hmm . . . maybe that's not such a good analogy . . .) I've not had practice, though, was my only point. Smooching your mum and other assorted relatives doesn't really lend itself to that, if you know what I mean. (Unless of course you're family's been cursed . . . but that's another story.)
I wonder if there are any kind of statistics on this sort of thing. They have all kinds of stats on the percentage of 14-year-olds who've had sex, and the percentage of drug abusers among suburban 17-year-olds, and college dropout rates among cheese fanatics and that sort of thing. I would guess not, since that seems kind of a waste of funding. There are things that are more important to spend money on after all. (Though that's no guarantee the better spending is being done; how much does the Army pay for toilet seats?) I just think it would be nice to know. I mean, I'm sure I'm not the only soon-to-be 19-year-old who's never kissed a girl. (Or guy, depending on gender and sexual preference.) I'm sure there are guys in my dorm too (just not the one guy next door). Might be nice to know, is all I'm saying.
It sounds kinda silly even to me to talk about all this. I'm reminded of Hello, Dolly!. Cornelius (Andrew) and Barnaby (me) sing a song about going to the big city ("Put On Your Sunday Clothes"). "...And we won't go home until we've kissed a girl!" is a recurring line throughout. I think of that show, that song when I think of myself and smooching. I also feel a little silly when I think about how I want it to mean something, when I first kiss a girl, you know? I mean, it's important to me. (Especially if I've gone this long without. Might as well make it really count, in some sense.) I want it to mean something. I can even remember a grade school party where we were playing Truth or Dare (which I never liked much anyhow, being the secretive individual I am) and they dared this girl to kiss me. I refused out of hand, because I didn't want my first smooch to be for some stupid game that I don't even like, with some girl who was clearly revolted by the concept as was I. (The question of who was more grossed out is academic.) I remember leaving the room, though I'm not sure exactly how that went. (My guess is that I was refusing, and saw that the atmosphere amongst the assembled personages was getting funky, and decided to take off before they ganged up and made it happen.) Anyhow, the point is I want it to be meaningful. Then again, it's not like we're talking about sex here or something like that. So in that sense again, I feel a little silly.
Then too, sometimes if I let my mind wander (yes, it always comes back), I think of certain girls, and just grabbing them and planting one on them. I think that I want to be able to do that someday. But whenever I think of it now, I always tell myself that I want it to mean something. So maybe someday.
So wait, is this like some kind of limit? (I hope not, because another calculus joke is more than this entry can take.) Once the first one is behind me, will I just randomly walk around smooching women? (Yes, if you can't picture this, neither can I.) Once the smooch barrier is broken, what happens? (Shut up with the 'speed of smooch' jokes. Just don't start using Mach numbers as some sort of euphemism . . . oh, crap.) Frankly, we all know I won't be just smooching anybody that it happens to strike me that it might be nice to. I think it will still mean something to me, just not the same thing exactly. I don't go kissing whomever right now, and I won't after I (finally, shut up) have my first kiss. I'll still reserve the kiss for meaningful situations. I guess it won't be that different after all, just (hopefully) lots more common.
Whew! If you're still reading, I commend you. I guess I had a lot to say. If it sounds like I'm depressed about it, well, I'm not; it's not the most fun topic either, as you might imagine. If it seems like I've inserted humor and used complicated ways of going about discussing things, that's to be expected when I'm talking about emotion-related topics. I just look forward to the first kiss, and want it to be special.
Special. Yeah, that's it.
« démodé · home · à la mode »
the vault · dossier
two cents · more cents · missives
Perhaps you passed these by:
Life {in Chicago} - 04 October 2005
Chicago - 13 September 2005
User - 09 August 2005
scattered - 05 August 2005
the way it is - 19 July 2005
Filmed in Petevision
Menu font courtesy Astigmatic One Eye
Quote font courtesy Fontor
Quote courtesy William Shakespeare and AllShakespeare.com
Solid-state solutions courtesy Dairyland
Not responsible for the content of external links
No animals were harmed in the production of this diary.
Photo ©1997 Leo C. Curran.
Design and content ©2002-2005 Me.
 |