It's strange.
{I imagine I say that a lot. It's true, though, even if I were to say nothing else. I think life is strange, by it's nature. Life is change, or at least the two are closely entwined, and change and strange go hand in hand, in a certain way of looking at things. No I haven't been using any sort of substance, though I suppose it's a bit late. Do remember that I'm on central time these days. An hour closer to friends on the west coast, and what's an hour between friends and family to the east?
{Anyhow, all I really meant to say was that things are never exactly the same one moment to the next. Maybe that doesn't have to mean they are strange, because there are patterns we can recognize and become familiar and comfortable in. But I think it often can.}
Living here, for one. Great little place. Not as fancy (or silly-expensive) as the places some of M's law school classmates have - but then, I hold out hope that the guy from Texas who only went to that building since it was on the tour during their admitted students' weekend and seemed nice and he didn't have a chance to look for somewhere else might be more like us and less -- whatever the quality is with the couple I've seen that I can't think of a word for.
Ironic I suppose that I compare the used versus the precise {something like that anyway}, as I just moved our living room more toward the middle of the spectrum today.
Finding a job kinda sucks, really. On the bright side, I have a couple of prospects that would pay more than just what I need to get by, assuming I've been given the right info. There are still further steps in both of the leading candidates' cases, so I'm cautious for the moment, but still optimistic.
It's still an adjustment to see what the new relationship statuses are in the new circumstances. Who I still talk to. Who I've gotten back in touch with. How talking has changed with different people. That sort of thing. I've found some new depth where I hadn't had it before; I've noticed some drift; more phone calls with at least one person; calling my parents more or less regularly for the first time; sent a few letters; yadda yadda. It's less of a shock than say four years ago. But then, things are different now. Even then, I had the benefit of friends who were younger and still bound together by being in high school together. It was easy to still hang out when I came in town in those cases. {Or to get into trouble when that happened and then they came up in a group to sail a ship that would not sail and skip the pricey rock hall next door.}
And somehow, we've managed to more or less keep those things going. One group better than the other, I think, but then, more - or indeed, more than none - of them stayed in the area, which I think helped. Or maybe it was just more than one in the same place, home just reinforcing that as a convenient get-together.
In any case, it was easier than it might have been, going away to school, easier than if I'd had only friends in my own class or older. And with a new group or groups of college friends, the worry is not nearly as much there, but the patience and confidence are. I am confident some people will slip away, despite any attempts, or even of 'good intentions' which will never be fulfilled. I meant that I was confident that some will stay, changed indeed, for better or worse {if indeed there exists such a judgement that makes any sense}, but that I can count on that. Much will pass away, but much will abide.
Still, it's strange. If nothing else, I have no classes to go to. And no work has yet replaced them. Even there, my prospects seem mostly flexible-schedule items, and not the regulated hours of typical jobs which made factory owners so supportive of universal public education. {Look it up: honest to goodness, they thought the regulated schedule would help prepare good workers used to following that which would be easier to plug into the works.} So if I was looking for comfort in routine {which I'm not sure - in fact, I'll go farther and say I don't think I am}, the only such I seem likely to find is the same comfort in routine that comes from our original topic, life.
How true, how true, the old {wisdom || cliche}:
The only constant is change.
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Perhaps you passed these by:
Don't worry 'bout me - 21 October 2005
Still in the apartment - 20 October 2005
What time it is? - 20 October 2005
You know what they say - 13 October 2005
Life {in Chicago} - 04 October 2005
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