|
« § Sleeping for a million years § » I'm glad I was so sick I slept a million years starting last night. I got home in time to stay awake long enough to see the oh-so-awesome start to the National Championship, and unfortunately stayed awake just long enough to see the score go to 21-7 in the wrong direction after we hammered the opening kickoff home. Then I woke long enough to see the end (just sad, ya'll) and flip through a bunch of late-night shows before passing out again. I'm also glad my boss is out of town, since I teased with a parting shot about not staying up to late to watch us win. Sigh. Anyhow, after something like 15 or so hours of sleep last night, I think I'm feeling better. I should be going to work tomorrow (oh boy), or at least I need to to ship a bunch of stuff off to the boss, who is in DC. A certain someone raises a good point. My apologies for missing people when I was home. In my defense, it was only for three days, Christmas and the days either side, which I figure were mostly family for you, and certainly were for me. The only non-family I saw was for breakfast the day I drove back, which was arranged about 9 PM the night before when I happened to call V who then set up a big group. (Which was awesome, but not the point.) If I've lost touch with you, even more I have lost (touch with) myself. I'm still me, with all the habits and all, but the color has gone out of it all, and the drive frankly, the knowing what to do next and with myself. I know that I need to stop talking (whining) about it and do something, as it's the only way to help it all. But it is the case all the same. But not an excuse. I do miss you. You always have a place to stay if you want to come visit us/the city, I should add. I don't know how to fix things up, or if it's even possible anymore. I guess it's just one by on and step by step, or something. The next two months are going to be hard, what with M's schedule. I am hoping to figure out what my next life move will be during that time as well, but maybe I can focus on reconnecting, too. (Part of me, and maybe it's just the part that wanted time for vacation without craziness, wants to run far far away from this job. But maybe it's also the part that hates feeling like it will never be ok, like the damn thing will never be mastered.) I hope so, but I need to sit down and make plans and do my best to follow through either way. Maybe I can quit for my birthday.
« démodé · home · à la mode »
Perhaps you passed these by:
Photo ©1997 Leo C. Curran. Design and content ©2002-2005 Me. |
|