"What is this thing that we call working and why do i stand directly in my own path of accomplishing it?"
-Tim, diaryland entry on 12/1/02
You know, it gave me a chuckle when I first read it.
But then, after I bookmarked the page to go in as a favorite entry (on my private list; I haven't used the diaryland favourite entries thing yet), I thought about it some more. People really do get in their own way quite a lot.
Right now, for example, I'm taking the opportunity to reflect on Tim's writing as a way to interrupt my paper writing. (I was on break anyhow.) I take vastly too many breaks while writing a paper. I already plan on not sleeping much (at all?) tonight. Too bad for my roommate. The point being, I got in my own way with the paper even. I've had plenty of time in which to have written it; did I do so? Not a chance.
I've had several chances to get the girl, as I so often say I want to. Did I capitalize? Not so much. At least in that area I seem to be improving (at least I think so; sot off if you don't, cause you can't see what's going on inside here). But yes, again I was holding myself back, whether through doubt or fear or just plain squandering chances.
My laziness holds me back, too. (No, I don't really count not doing the paper as laziness, per se; more like avoidance.) I could be a better actor than I am; I could know more from many of my classes; I could have done more to help people. I still say a certain amount of laziness is necessary and proper. You'll go nuts if you don't have some downtime, after all. And stressing out over past laziness is rarely helpful; getting the job done when you have to rather than thinking about what you should have done seems to work best. One would hope that one would learn from those kind of situations after the immediate completion of a project, but one would more than likely be sadly mistaken.
I know there is more to say on this theme. However, I'm already not thinking at my swiftest, and I've still got hours to put into this paper (at least six pages to go, yet). This will have to do for now.
I'd just like to amend that whatever I've said (and they have my apologies), whatever has happened, I love all my friends.
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