I'm getting on to tired and haven't packed at all yet.
As a large man of Indian descent I know from school is fond of quoting, "Who needs sleep?" Well, I do. But hell, I might as well finish out this week without much, as that's how it's been all week anyhow. It's kinda funny that I should be getting more sleep this coming week when I'm back at school than I have this last week home.
I had wanted to go out one last time, say a few last last byes. I only made one call though, so my fault there, I suppose. I did however more or less hang out with my dad, watching tv and talking about all kinds of stuff and so on, so that was pretty cool. With all my dashing around and going out and such, I don't always get a chance for that.
Things are so different when you are away from people. It's the same thing everyone else has said myriad ways before, but I just notice it again.
My cousin just told me he might get to go to Japan for a couple of weeks next summer. Regular world traveller, he is - the two of us spent two weeks in England in the summer of 2001. Kickass for him. A friend of mine got really really good news the other day, too. No, I can't tell you what. I'd have to kill you, 'cause my friend wants it super quiet. But it made me very excited for my friend, so I thought I'd mention it. Neener neener.
Things might have been better over break, but they also could have been a hell of a lot worse. Always true, I suppose. I can't say I'm unchanged over break, though I didn't get all the projects and cleaning and seeing people and everything I had planned half-planed or wondered or dreamed about done or said. I didn't really make the long term decisions I need to be making.
...
I'm afraid. Among other things, I'm afraid I'll let myself down again. This semester I mean, that I will let special projects go undone for example. So many things I've considered putting together, yet I doubt myself, doubt I will get them done. It's not like they're earth-shattering; it's that if I think about doing it and don't, it's like I'm lying to myself. I can't believe I'm doing this, but it's like what Oprah was saying the other day. She was talking about the whole losing weight thing, but it applies here. You let yourself down, you keep breaking promises to yourself (or not finishing what you started, as I'm wondering about), you degrade yourself. Don't people who don't keep their word go down in our estimation? And the same is true within ourselves. And if you're an emotional eater as she was talking about, get down on yourself, eat more crap, and so on.
There are more things that I'm afraid of, but they will have to be written of another day.
I really wish a certain someone would send me her former roommate's address abroad for this semester. Harassment on this point will begin once we've gotten back to school.
Judging speech (high school competition; forensics to some of you out there) today was enjoyable, as always. I wonder from time to time about asking a friend of mine who does it in the district we go to school in about doing it, but never do. I've only ever judged at home. They pay you at school though, whereas home is gratis. We shall see.
Indeed, in the coming weeks, we shall see.
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